Monday, February 11, 2008

Clean Slate

I've gone back and forth on this issue recently: do I erase all of my old posts and start fresh or do I just scrap this blog thing entirely?

Since I obviously like the sound of my own voice(or the sound of my typing) way too much, I decided on the former rather than the latter.

I like starting fresh. Maybe that's why I have held and left 4 restaurant jobs since the end of June.

Those who know me well are allowed to laugh. The rest of you can laugh too, I guess. I am to jobs what Seinfeld was to relationships.
Job 1 - I left because I didn't like the quality of the food we were putting out(well, that and the chef decided not to show up one day, and I didn't want to have to do his job plus mine).
Job 2 - My hand started hurting. What kind of a wuss am I? I mean, I got into this business to work my ass off and hurt myself, and I quit as soon as it got painful. Okay, okay, I was actually in serious pain and had carpal tunnel, but whatever.
Job 3 - Now, this one I feel badly about. I left this one because (I thought) something better came along.
Job 4 - This one was the most painful. This was the better job that lured me from Job 3. Although it turned out not to be better after all. The chef(same one from job 1)still wanted me to do his job plus mine, but he was actually there, and telling me what a bad job I was doing all along.

People say to me all of the time, Leanna, you knew it was going to be tough when you got into this. Why don't you go back to Landscape Architecture?

This is what I say to those people. I don't want to go back to f-ing Landscape Architecture. I LOVE TO COOK. I LOVE RESTAURANTS! I LOVE GETTING BETTER EVERY DAY. But at the same time I feel miserable. I want to find that right job that makes me happy most of the time. Am I too naive?

So, here I am, unemployed again. I have some opportunities, but I don't want to make any rash decisions just yet.

On a food note, people always ask me what my favorite thing is to cook, or what style of food do I like the best?
Here's a news flash to all of those people - when I am alone and could cook for myself, I don't - I eat junk food and candy and ice cream and loads of crap. I am a junk food junkie.

But I will let you in on a secret - I am really good at fish. When my husband Abie and I are actually home at the same time and I feel like cooking, we eat well.
I am also really good at vegetables - I know it sounds simple, but you gotta make people wanna eat their veg, and I am good at that.

So I think this is the reason I don't go back to Landscape. I am good at this. And getting better all of the time. It is probably the only thing that I have ever been really good at. I'm relatively intelligent, so I can fool people into thinking I am awesome and that's pretty much what I did up until now, but you can't fool someone into thinking your food is good unless it actually is good. I think this is why chefs get egos: good=good. The same thing goes with athletes. You can't lie or smooth-talk your way into winning - you have to be good.

I know I ramble. I'll try to work on that, since I am wiping the slate clean and everything...